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Life is unpredictable. When things get rocky and the waves are turbulent, we get uncomfortable. When our day doesn't go as planned, we get anxious. When someone is not listening to us, we get frustrated.
All of these feelings can make us feel “off” and we desperately try to grasp for a life preserver to give us some sense of balance and peace.
Our need to control comes down to one thing….FEAR. We are so scared of things not unfolding to the outcome we expect.
We attempt to bring back the “comfortable” feeling by trying to control the situation or the person. This can be absolutely exhausting—physically, emotionally, and mentally. You may find yourself trying to regain control by bossing people around, going on a cleaning rampage, organizing your entire house, making to-do lists, etc.
You may have a mini meltdown and yell at your loved ones. You may have scripted in your head what you will complain about to your husband the moment he walks in the door. You may even rant about something that has nothing to do with what you are mad about. These pent up feelings of “no control” can build up and overflow into so many areas of your life. They show up wearing a mask. Sound familiar?
When we try to control life which has so many moving targets, it can feel absolutely overwhelming. There is no way you can possibly have the superpower to make it all happen exactly as you planned.
As humans, we naturally have the desire to have certainty and control in our lives. Our nervous system is constantly trying to keep us feeling safe.
Know that what you want in life AND what happens to you unfolds at the right time & place and with the right people by your side.
Trust the process. Your life has already been designed for you. Let go of the need to know HOW and have faith that what is happening is for your highest good. This becomes easier to believe over time when you make the conscious choice to shift your mindset.
Your job is to relax, lean into your emotions instead of running from them, and to live in the present moment.
Releasing the need to control feels like a big weight lifted off your shoulders. Ask yourself if what you are trying to control is a life or death situation. Can you maybe see how you are overreacting in the grand scheme of things? Will it matter 1 year from now?
Envision how your loved ones are seeing you at that moment you unravel. Are they scared or annoyed? If the dirty dishes don’t get put in the dishwasher, what will happen? If the house looks like a tornado went through it when you go to bed, what will happen? If the laundry piles up higher than usual, what will happen? The answer is nothing. You will be just fine.
We live in a society where we want things done “now” and this can be a hard pill to swallow. Delayed gratification is not exactly in our vocabulary.
Train your mind to focus on the big picture. As my sister always says, stop focusing on the smaller picture—ZOOM OUT like you do with the lens on your camera. Take a walk outside to reset your nervous system. Fresh air, nature, and movement help to push that chaotic energy out of your body which helps you gain clarity and perspective.
Live in the moment and say 5 things you are grateful for.
Repeat in your head or out loud, "I release the need to control how and when everything unfolds in my life. I let go and let it flow.” I encourage you to write that on a Post-It and stick it on your refrigerator as a reminder.
The Universe always has your back. There is no need to control it. Let go of the outcome and surrender.
Enjoy this ride called life and learn the lessons along the way. You will find so much joy when you come from a place of FLOW and accept that you can't prevent something from happening or make other people change.
