Your Little Girl is Still There

Within each one of us resides that playful, curious and innocent version of ourselves…the inner child that is always there no matter how old we get.

 

She doesn’t just disappear. She represents our childhood experiences, emotions and needs that shaped her life into adolescence & adulthood.

 

She holds memories and limiting beliefs that were formed in-utero up until age 7 that have profoundly impacted the way she moves through this world.

 

 

We all have wounds that we carry with us each day. No one is immune.

 

I have found a lot of moms, along with myself, have a common wound of “not being enough.”  Does that resonate with you at all? 

 

From the day we are born, we are trying to make sense of what is happening in our environment and unconsciously make everything about us. It’s how we make sense of the world and what is being said & modeled for us. 

 

As children, we internalize (direct everything inwards) and that always leads to the core message that something is wrong with us. The thoughts we have when we are little set up camp in our belief system and become the foundation for our programming and identity. Now you can see where this goes wrong. If we have a false, negative, and misguided foundation, it sets the tone for the rest of our lives.

 

Beliefs can stem from big or small traumas.

 

It could be that you were not invited to a birthday party or you tried out for the dance team and didn’t make it. 😔

 

We then take that lived experience which gets magnetized 🧲 thus attracting more situations to reaffirm the belief that we are not enough…and just like that, the “I am not enough” recording begins in our heads and starts the path of our unworthy identity. 

 

The lens you are looking through is cloudy and distorted but you are not aware that it’s inaccurate.

 

You have carried your belief system for decades so of course it’s the absolute truth…wrong. 

 

People and situations keep popping into your life that echo your beliefs and lived experiences. You start to feel victim to your circumstances.

 

Do you ever ask yourself, "Why do I keep attracting the same type of men? Why is my boss a jerk no matter where I work? Why can't I keep a job? Why do I have no confidence to pursue my dreams?"

 

What is actually happening is you are an energetic match for your wound that needs healing.✨

 

Here is another common belief I hear a lot….the idea that the more you control everything, the safer you will be.

 

It can disguise itself as always having a clean house, the kids not being allowed to make mistakes, refusing to give your kids glitter & slime because of the mess it will make, allowing a checklist to rule your day, or micromanaging what your significant other is doing all the time. 

 

 

The need to control could stem from your parents fighting, a death in the family, an alcoholic parent, not having your emotional needs met, a serious illness, or parents getting a divorce.

 

Remember internalization?

 

Yep ...kids find a reason that it’s their fault and then act out ADAPTIVE BEHAVIORS such as pleasing-people, over-achieving, perfectionism, hyper-independence, rule-follower, binge-eating, over-analyzing, and control in an attempt to unconsciously calm their nervous system.

 

The amazing news is that it’s never too late to go back and heal your inner child! The key is to rewire the wound.

 

Every time we are triggered, it’s a past version of ourselves….she is the one that is reacting. 

 

It’s essential to understand how to non-judgmentally observe yourself when you are triggered.

 

Say to yourself, “Oh isn’t that interesting I am triggered. What is it asking me to FEEL right now? What version of me is being triggered?” 🤔

 

Coming from a place of curiosity instead of the analytical mind is important because we cannot regulate a dysregulated nervous system in an analytical state. 🧠

 

Don’t ask why…just be AWARE of it. What are you feeling? Cry to release it…the goal is to let it go from your body. Crying moves our stuck emotions. 😭

 

On a side note, when your child does something that makes you angry, irritated or annoyed, this is a good thing. It’s showing you what you still need to work on.

 

Here are some additional ways to heal your inner child:

 

• Explore inner child therapy or journaling exercises to uncover and heal past wounds, traumas, and beliefs. 

 

• Inner child visualizations and guided meditations (use the free Insight Timer app).

 

• Embrace opportunities for play, spontaneity, and joy in your daily life. Allow yourself to be silly, adventurous, and carefree even if only for a moment. Find activities that bring you joy and make your heart sing.

 

• Practice self-compassion by acknowledging and validating your feelings, needs and experiences. Treat yourself with kindness, empathy, and understanding just as you would a young child. 💜

 

• Cultivate a loving and supportive inner dialogue by speaking to yourself with kindness, encouragement, and reassurance. Practice reparenting yourself by providing the love, care, and nurturing you may have lacked in childhood. 

 

• Find picture of yourself when you were around age 5. Save that photo as your phone screensaver. Every time you look at her, say out loud or to yourself, "It's safe to feel safe. You are whole and you matter."

 

Reconnecting with and healing our inner child is crucial for personal growth & emotional well-being. 💫 

 

By acknowledging, nurturing, and integrating this aspect of ourselves, we can release past traumas, cultivate self-compassion, experience our wholeness, and feel inner peace.